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I love this video.

beyonce


Soon to come:

-Why myself and Austin should have been on BB8 instead of the majority of the housemates.

-Why Carol's eviction strays me away from the show even more.

-Why Joe needs to be out of the house and Nick needs to come out.(on my face.)

-Why this dating thing has turned me into a homicidal maniac.

Anybody remember Stankonia?

beyonce
This skit was funny.

The video would be funnier too, if it weren't these two corny ass white dudes. Just no...vigor. It wasn't a good performance by them. Gay white men trying to impersonate black women is usually a big mess. Put that on the list of things that should be done sparingly.

What's fucked up is that I KNOW this guy.

beyonce
So I'm surfing around YouTube, doing my thing, and I find this:



Can't believe it. Chase motherfucking Sampson. I know that damn dude. We have MUTUAL FRIENDS! I worked with his sister and shit.
That's just crazy...and embarrassing. I would die if I got the first question wrong. And I mean...DIE.

Real update pending! I know, it's been like...7 months.

I have my first "cubicle".

beyonce
Temporary jobs like this new one make me realize I never want to work an office job. Like...EVER.

I'm going crazy in this bitch, I swear to god.

Hey people! If you give a shit, and have NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO...go to games_lj and vote for anyone BUT me! (And Kristy, Maya, Austin, Heather, Brad, Casey and Josh, because they're awesome.) So...yeah. Do it. NOW!

MySpace etiquette.

beyonce
Let's put this under discussion.

Now I'm pretty sure everyone with a computer has a MySpace account, and if you say you don't, you are definitely THAT motherfucker with dozens of videos, quiz results, and glitter bullshit all over your profile that crash and burn 85% of computers in America. Believe me, I have found you, even though you don't register under your real names.

With any website, there should be some etiquette and class that should follow with the conduct of this site. I will explain said rules as follows.

1. Stop with the multiple videos, quiz results, Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat backgrounds, and flash animation. It is ANNOYING. That shit KILLS my computer, and then things just go downhill from there.

2. If you add me as a friend, send me a message. Show me some love or something. Ask how my day is, ask me what I like to do in my spare time, SOMETHING. Open up the doors of communication. Kickstart something.

3. On the topic of messages, if you read it, RESPOND to it. To read a message without a response is JUST as bad as not responding to a text message. And I know when you read my message, too. That shit is rude, man. You took the time to read, take the time to respond, even if it's saying you're not interested.

4. Oh...I'm still talking about messages. I'll show you a diagram for this next one.

Robert: Hey man! What's up with you today?

Goofus: nuthin

Gallant: Nothing much here. Sitting around. What are you doing tonight?

If you decide to be polite and reply, retort with another question. Let's keep the conversation moving, homeboy. Nothing agitates me more than trying to beat a dead horse in terms of conversation. I mean, I'm pretty extroverted, but I can't run this alone. It takes two to talk.

5. Gay boys. Stop putting people THAT YOU DON'T KNOW on your Top 8 because their picture is shirtless. That's just slutty.

6. Playgirl shoots. Negro please. No need to reaffirm to me that you don't eat, and have to resort to buying women's jeans. I do not need the reminder, nor the sickening image.

That's all I got for now. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD.

www.myspace.com/harlem_nocturne
I mean...while we're on the subject, right?

With a soda on the side.

beyonce

I love this shit.

Chris Cross: Girl, get that whip.

ohmygod
And that I did. Enter 2003 Hyundai Sonata.







Yeah son. Shitty camera. Fly car.

It's...PICK YOUR PONY TIME!

ohmygod
As we know, at the start of most reality tv shows,(I've been slacking off lately) Robert makes his picks for the final 4, among other things.

Survivor: Cook Islands(Apartheid) is starting on Sept. 14th, and just by looks alone, I've made my picks for the final 4, solely based on vanity, and who would seem entertaining on TV. As follows:



Parvati. I mean, how cute is she? I absolutely adore her, and she went to UGA, and majored in journalism. Journalism? She's a winner in my eyes already. She's been on her own since 17, and she's a boxer, so I expect some roughneck stuff to go down. She ain't having it from no one.



Jessica. Courtney, part 2, basically. She seems spicier, though. She's a lot cuter, too. The necklace is a bit much, though.



Stephannie. There's Fantasia! She ain't playing, y'all. I expect some negro attitude from this one. She'll be made into the new Omarosa, just you watch.


Brad. Cute ass asian. Show your love.

I'm SO EXCITED!

ohmygod
I'm pumped. I'm on the East Coast of the States, so I know the final is starting very soon, but things should be looking good for Aisleyne! I HOPE SHE WINS!!!!

I wouldn't mind Pete winning, either, but...that's too expected.

Big Brother is watching me.

beyonce
Somewhat.

Thanks to YouTube, Big Brother: UK has pretty much consumed most of my free time, which secures the fact that I need to find a better job, a hobby, drug/alcohol addiction, or shoplifting habit so I can better benefit what I do in my free time. I left my PS2 memory card in Athens, I have everything known to man unlocked in Soul Calibur 2 for the GC, and I have no XBOX. Therefore, I must update. But fret not LJLand, I have missed some good things, but nothing deathly important and downright hilarious to discuss here today.

Let's start with Lance Bass' (inevitable) coming out interview.



Now who couldn't tell that homeboy was down for the cause from jump street? He had me sold from the very first note that needed a little "Richard" in his life everyday to get through, so why the shock and the surprise? I mean this one girl in Target was straight up on the phone with what I assume to be another girlfriend of hers, reading the article aloud and gasping and shrieking as if he was the homeboy next door who was closer than friends should ever be with your hot lacrosse playing brother. She may or may not have started crying, I didn't stick around long enough. I'm sorry Becky, let the dream die.

I kind of want to watch all the other Nsync videos, just to see in hindsight how he was never really feeling whatever video ho he had to dance with, or how he always cocked his head to the left when any booty shaking was involved, just to see JT's manglutes hard at work, because we always knew that JT was front and middle, and Lance was always back and stage right, so he had primo view of what Mr. Timberlake was working with. He looked. I know he did. Shit, I would. And then send MySpace invites to watch the tapes.

Ooooo...I wonder what all the other Nsync-ers said while reading the interview.

I bet you Justin, with Cameron all up in his reading space, (Simply because she realizes how good she has it with JT, and has turned into the typical girlfriend who will never let her boyfriend out of her sight, not even to take a shit, for fear when said event takes place, hordes of JT fans with GPRS trackers will kidnap him and probably show him who is really about to bring sexy back. This action will force Cameron to call Drew and Lucy, because we all know they still play Charlie's Angels in the backyard whenever they get the chance, and pull off some sort of reconnaisance mission just to get Cameron's heart and soul back, while Drew and Lucy scoff and smack their teeth in the background, talking about "He's not THAT fine, girl. Please.") reading the interview, Justin looking for implications that Lance was totally feeling him and his whiteboy style, and took a sneak peek in the dressing rooms before concerts when I presume JT did jumping jacks in loose shorts and no underwear, just to affirm that he's the hottest in the group, in case they forgot. He's quite sad that he hasn't found anything. Cameron just can't stop gasping and shrieking, and exclaiming about how he was such a nice guy, and how she desperately wanted to set him up with her good friend, great personality and all, who just can't get a date. Cameron doesn't want to make the call, so she throws the magazine over the couch, and gets all "brand new couple" all over the place while the maid and presumed three small, fluffy dogs watch in disgust.

JC Chasez shakes the magazine in excitement as he bends in front of his shrine to Eva Longoria, thanking god that Lance finally came out as gay, so Eva may or may not take him back. He swipes away all the McDonalds and Jack in the Box cups and cartons that he consumed out of sadness from the breakup and the thought of turning 30. One can only assume he's gotten a little..."thick in the hips", as Tricia Helfer would say. Scrolling through his phonebook, he keeps highlighting Eva's name, which is under "Baby Momma", because he was into her that much, he couldn't possibly put the government name on the SIM card. He highlights, going through the self-arguement of "I'm not going to call...but I have to...but I'm over her...but it smells like her. I gotta call."

He calls. It rings once. He hangs up. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. He bucks up, probably smacking himself in the head a couple of times(like a football player) before calling again.

Enter Eva and Tony, sitting on a yacht, probably. Eva's phone rings. It's probably pink and has charms all over it, she just seems like that type. She reads the caller ID. "Do Not Answer". Press the little button on the side, and decline.

"Who is that, baby?" Tony exclaims.

"Uhh...ummm..."insert 15 seconds of nervous thought,"Teri Hatcher. She's getting on my last...you know how she is."

Tony wants to accuse her of cheating, but realizes this is the best he's ever going to do, so...he moves along.

JC cries, and digs right back into the Big Mac he was planning on consuming in the event Eva did not answer.


What pissed me off about the interview is that at the end, he said that he tells people exactly this.

"I'm not gay. I'm also gay."

Yeah. And I'm also 100 dollars richer from the 9 or 10 people I bet 20 bucks that you were gay. I'm also pissed that you try to act all political and shit about it, knowing a year from now you're going to release a circuit album, pick up a drug addiction, and release a sex tape proving that you're a total bottom, therefore gaining me ANOTHER 150 - 200 dollars.

But then again, he's banging this guy.


Lance Bass - 1 Robert - 0


So like I said, I've been faithfully watching Big Brother:UK, but that doesn't mean I've neglected to watch Big Brother: All Stars, which I have renamed the Janelle Pierzina show.

Why is this? She's quite possibly the only entertaining housemate, and I've always had the soft spot for the person that's labeled as Public Enemy Number 1. I don't understand why she was, but she was. She narrowly escaped eviction by winning the power of veto this week, but I'm pretty sure someone will be gunning for her next week. The moment she's evicted, I might just stop watching.

Damn, it's hot. That's my secret way of saying that I forgot everything else I was going to talk about. But...it is hot.