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Big Brother is watching me.


Thanks to YouTube, Big Brother: UK has pretty much consumed most of my free time, which secures the fact that I need to find a better job, a hobby, drug/alcohol addiction, or shoplifting habit so I can better benefit what I do in my free time. I left my PS2 memory card in Athens, I have everything known to man unlocked in Soul Calibur 2 for the GC, and I have no XBOX. Therefore, I must update. But fret not LJLand, I have missed some good things, but nothing deathly important and downright hilarious to discuss here today.

Let's start with Lance Bass' (inevitable) coming out interview.

Now who couldn't tell that homeboy was down for the cause from jump street? He had me sold from the very first note that needed a little "Richard" in his life everyday to get through, so why the shock and the surprise? I mean this one girl in Target was straight up on the phone with what I assume to be another girlfriend of hers, reading the article aloud and gasping and shrieking as if he was the homeboy next door who was closer than friends should ever be with your hot lacrosse playing brother. She may or may not have started crying, I didn't stick around long enough. I'm sorry Becky, let the dream die.

I kind of want to watch all the other Nsync videos, just to see in hindsight how he was never really feeling whatever video ho he had to dance with, or how he always cocked his head to the left when any booty shaking was involved, just to see JT's manglutes hard at work, because we always knew that JT was front and middle, and Lance was always back and stage right, so he had primo view of what Mr. Timberlake was working with. He looked. I know he did. Shit, I would. And then send MySpace invites to watch the tapes.

Ooooo...I wonder what all the other Nsync-ers said while reading the interview.

I bet you Justin, with Cameron all up in his reading space, (Simply because she realizes how good she has it with JT, and has turned into the typical girlfriend who will never let her boyfriend out of her sight, not even to take a shit, for fear when said event takes place, hordes of JT fans with GPRS trackers will kidnap him and probably show him who is really about to bring sexy back. This action will force Cameron to call Drew and Lucy, because we all know they still play Charlie's Angels in the backyard whenever they get the chance, and pull off some sort of reconnaisance mission just to get Cameron's heart and soul back, while Drew and Lucy scoff and smack their teeth in the background, talking about "He's not THAT fine, girl. Please.") reading the interview, Justin looking for implications that Lance was totally feeling him and his whiteboy style, and took a sneak peek in the dressing rooms before concerts when I presume JT did jumping jacks in loose shorts and no underwear, just to affirm that he's the hottest in the group, in case they forgot. He's quite sad that he hasn't found anything. Cameron just can't stop gasping and shrieking, and exclaiming about how he was such a nice guy, and how she desperately wanted to set him up with her good friend, great personality and all, who just can't get a date. Cameron doesn't want to make the call, so she throws the magazine over the couch, and gets all "brand new couple" all over the place while the maid and presumed three small, fluffy dogs watch in disgust.

JC Chasez shakes the magazine in excitement as he bends in front of his shrine to Eva Longoria, thanking god that Lance finally came out as gay, so Eva may or may not take him back. He swipes away all the McDonalds and Jack in the Box cups and cartons that he consumed out of sadness from the breakup and the thought of turning 30. One can only assume he's gotten a little..."thick in the hips", as Tricia Helfer would say. Scrolling through his phonebook, he keeps highlighting Eva's name, which is under "Baby Momma", because he was into her that much, he couldn't possibly put the government name on the SIM card. He highlights, going through the self-arguement of "I'm not going to call...but I have to...but I'm over her...but it smells like her. I gotta call."

He calls. It rings once. He hangs up. Nervous. Nervous. Nervous. He bucks up, probably smacking himself in the head a couple of times(like a football player) before calling again.

Enter Eva and Tony, sitting on a yacht, probably. Eva's phone rings. It's probably pink and has charms all over it, she just seems like that type. She reads the caller ID. "Do Not Answer". Press the little button on the side, and decline.

"Who is that, baby?" Tony exclaims.

"Uhh...ummm..."insert 15 seconds of nervous thought,"Teri Hatcher. She's getting on my last...you know how she is."

Tony wants to accuse her of cheating, but realizes this is the best he's ever going to do, so...he moves along.

JC cries, and digs right back into the Big Mac he was planning on consuming in the event Eva did not answer.

What pissed me off about the interview is that at the end, he said that he tells people exactly this.

"I'm not gay. I'm also gay."

Yeah. And I'm also 100 dollars richer from the 9 or 10 people I bet 20 bucks that you were gay. I'm also pissed that you try to act all political and shit about it, knowing a year from now you're going to release a circuit album, pick up a drug addiction, and release a sex tape proving that you're a total bottom, therefore gaining me ANOTHER 150 - 200 dollars.

But then again, he's banging this guy.

Lance Bass - 1 Robert - 0

So like I said, I've been faithfully watching Big Brother:UK, but that doesn't mean I've neglected to watch Big Brother: All Stars, which I have renamed the Janelle Pierzina show.

Why is this? She's quite possibly the only entertaining housemate, and I've always had the soft spot for the person that's labeled as Public Enemy Number 1. I don't understand why she was, but she was. She narrowly escaped eviction by winning the power of veto this week, but I'm pretty sure someone will be gunning for her next week. The moment she's evicted, I might just stop watching.

Damn, it's hot. That's my secret way of saying that I forgot everything else I was going to talk about. But...it is hot.


Aug. 10th, 2006 10:17 am (UTC)
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